
Hey, Dipper and Mabel!
Blendin here. I'm currently living in the year 1883, and I hid this letter in hopes that it would one day reach you. (I got the idea from the movie "Return Backwards to the Past Again 3," which is required viewing for Time Academy freshmen.) You've probably got a lot of questions, and after the events of Weirdmageddon, man, I don't blame you!
So here's what happened: After Globnar, I was getting a LOT of flak for losing a gladiator fight to two children. Even though I got my job back (thanks for that, by the way!), my fellow officers kept calling me hurtful nicknames. Time Baby himself called me No-Friendin Blandin! Do you know what it's like to live like that?
Just as I was thinking I would give anything for Time Baby's respect, this weird triangle guy showed up in my dreams and said that he would make sure Time Baby never bothered me again. All I had to do was shake his hand! I've never been great at making decisions under pressure, and, well, you know the rest! When I awoke, that stupid triangle had used my body to travel through time and destroy the entire universe–and Time Baby, too!
Luckily, Time Baby isn't dead...exactly. It will take one thousand years for his molecules to reconstitute, and when they do, boy, is he gonna be cranky! The time agents also survived–they only send their holo-projections out on dangerous missions. But Lolph and Dundgren were FURIOUS about what I did!
Of course, this means that there is a dimension–wide manhunt of agents trying to find me and bring me to justice. But it was all a mistake!
The last thing I want is to go back to jail, so I've been hiding out in the past. It was fun for a while–seeing the sights, chatting with historical figures, visiting the ‘50s to try to learn the Twist. (I accidentally twisted my ankle and couldn't walk for a week.)
I wanted to check out the old West, too, but when I traveled here, I accidentally appeared right in front of a train and my time tape was shattered into fifty pieces. (Also, I think the train might have gone off the rails. Hopefully that isn't in the history books!)
Anyway, I just wanted to say not to worry about me! I've managed to blend in to the populace, and I got a job as a pocket watch repairman. I've also caught one of those cool gold rush-era diseases that're so popular in these times, and I am loving the nostalgia! Thanks for all your help, and if any time agents come looking for me, tell them you don't know nothing!
Blendin Blenjamin Blandin, 1883.
嗨,Dipper和Mabel!
我是Blendin。我现在住在1883年,我把这封信藏起来,希望有一天你能收到。(我从电影“再回到过去3”中得到的灵感,这部片子是时间院新生必看的影片。)你肯定有许多疑问,并且经过世界末日的事件,我不责怪你!
所以,事情是这样发生的,晶球大战后,我总是被嘲笑在格斗中输给了两个小孩子。即使我的工作失而复得【顺带多谢你们!】我的同事总是用伤人的绰号喊我。就连时光宝宝也喊我“No-Friendin Blandin”!你们知道那样活着有多难受吗?
正在我想我会付出一切赢得时光宝宝的尊重,一个奇怪的三角形家伙出现在我的梦里并说他能够让时光宝宝再也不烦我。我所要做的只是与他握手!我在有压力的情况下永远做不出好决定,而且,你们知道接下来发生了什么!当我醒来,那个愚蠢的三角形用我的身体穿越时光并且毁灭了整个宇宙和时光宝宝!
幸运的是,时光宝宝并没有死......确实。这将需要一千年的时间来重组他的分子,并且,当他们这样做的时候,孩子,他会变得古怪的!时间特工们也活下来了——他们只送自己的全息投影出危险的任务。但Lolph和Dundgren对我的所作所为十分愤怒!
当然,那意味着又一个时空中——特工们展开了大搜捕,试着找到我并且对我进行法律制裁。但那都只是个错误!
我最不想回去的是监狱,所以我一直躲在过去。这是一段有趣的时光——看风景,和历史人物聊天,参观50年代,学习扭转。(我不小心扭伤了脚踝,一个礼拜都不能走了。)
我也想看看旧欧美地区,但当我在这里旅行时,我意外地出现在火车前面,我的时间穿梭器被粉碎成五十块。(另外,我觉得火车会出轨。希望这不会被记录进历史书!)
不管怎样,我只想说,不要为我担心!我设法融入了大众,还得到了一份怀表修理工的工作。我还发现了一种在当今流行的超酷的淘金热时代的疾病,我喜欢怀旧!谢谢你的帮助,如果有时间特工来找我,告诉他们你什么都不知道!
Blendin Blenjamin Blandin,1883。