回复：【15/10/19】【原创】【别后相思知不知】

Blaine asked Kurt to sit in the sofa below the canvas,before he plopped down beside him, keeping an appropriate distance betweenthem. Kurt was feeling a bit fidgety there with Blaine so close to him.
Blaine让Kurt坐在画布下方的沙发上，自己也坐到他身边，保持合适的距离。Blaine离他这么近，Kurt颇感坐立不安。
“What did you say to Adam? You know we are going to getengaged this weekend, and if you make him unhappy…”Kurt was going to say “ifyou make him unhappy you make me unhappy” when Blaine cut in, “ I told him to back off.”
“你跟Adam 说了什么？我们这周末要订婚了，你知道的。如果你让他不高兴了……”Kurt本来要说“如果你让他不高兴你就是让我不高兴”，Blaine却打断了他的话，“我让他离你远点。”
“How can you?!” Kurt got so flustered that he raised botharms as if to emphasize his point.
But then both his hands were held by a pair of big stronghands whose warmth seemed to burn his skin.
“你怎么能这样？！”Kurt心慌意乱地举起双手，仿佛要强调自己的话。
“I told him you are mine. And you will be mine forever.”
“But that is not true!” Exclaimed Kurt, in protest, “ifyou are so determined that we belong together, then why would you date womenand make people think that you are bisexual? “
“That was…Hell! That was an embarrassing story. I’m notsure how to tell you about it but you’ve got to trust me when I say this: thereis only you that I ‘ve ever wanted. And I’m begging you not to make the mistakeof marrying that Adam guy!” Blaineraised his voice.
“我告诉他你是我的。你永远属于我。”
“但那不是事实！”Kurt叫出声，反驳道，“如果你一心认定我们是要在一起的，那为什么你和女人约会，让别人以为你是双性恋？”
“那是…该死的！那些事情说来尴尬。我不知道怎么跟你说清楚，但是你一定要相信我现在说的这话：我想要的只有你。我请求你，不要犯下和Adam结婚的错误！”Blaine提高声音说。
“How do you know it will be a mistake?” Kurt argued,though deep down he knew that Blaine was perhaps speaking the truth.
“Cus if you do love him you won’t come to my placetonight.” Blaine said flatly.
“Perhaps I just come here to warn you not to come to myengagement party.” Kurt tried to protest.
“你怎么知道这是错误？”Kurt争辩道，尽管内心深处他知道Blaine说的也许的事实。
“因为如果你爱他，你今晚就不会到我这里来了。”Blaine平静地说。
“也许我来只是为了警告你，不要来参加我们的订婚宴。” Kurt尝试着反驳道。
After years of acting, Kurt was still not very good atlying. Blaine thought to himself. He was a marvelous actor but not much of aliar, or else his eyes would not be giving him away so easily as they were doing now. The firmness in his voicespoke of determination and defiance, but that vulnerability in those beautifulazure eyes told a different story. Blaine wanted to hold him in his arms, kisshim on the neck, the cheek and the lips. But he could not. Not now.
尽管演戏多年，Kurt却还是不擅长撒谎。Blaine心想。他是个绝顶的演员，却不是个说瞎话能蒙混过关的人，不然他的眼神就不会像现在这样出卖他了。他的声音丝毫不乱，坚定而傲慢，然而那蓝眼睛里却流露出脆弱，让人一望即知。Blaine想要将他抱住，亲吻他的脖颈，脸颊和嘴唇。但他不能。现在不能。
The knowing look in Blaine’s eyes put a chiding finger onKurt’s lips, making him unable to utter another word now. They both knew whatit was between the two of them. They both knew by gut what they were to eachother. But how, for the love of God, could they find a way back to the good olddays when it had been as easy as abreeze to express how they felt for each other, with years, people, incidentsstanding inbetween?
“But I will still come, Kurt, and you know it, if you areto throw that damn party I will come and make an end of it!” Said Blaine,through his gritted teeth.
Blaine眼里了然的神情就像一根手指放在Kurt嘴唇上，让他噤声不语。他们俩都知道彼此之间的感情，他们的直觉都知道对方对自己意味着什么。然而，上帝啊，岁月流转，人事变迁，他们该如何找到回去的路，回到过去的好日子，那时候流露真情就像家常便饭一样容易。
“我还是会来的，Kurt，你也知道，如果你要办这个订婚宴，那我就敢来，让它办不下去。” Blaine咬牙切齿地说出了口。

Chapter 26
“His eyes arealways on you, Eddie. It made me think it a bad idea to have him here, at ourwedding party.” Emily said, unconsciously clutching at his husband’s lower arm.
第二十六章
“他的眼睛总是看着你，Eddie。这让我觉得请他来我们的婚礼真是错了。”Emily 说，不自觉地紧抓着丈夫的小臂。
“I thought heand you were good friends.” Edwardreplied with disinterested apathy, as if he was not really living in thismoment of supposedly happy union with the woman.
He had alsonoticed the look in Randy’s eyes, a sad desperate look. He was after all tooyoung to make pretensions that could deceive people into believing that thisevent meant nothing but a celebration of a newly-wed couple.
“我还以为你俩是好朋友。”Edward淡漠地说，神情仿佛他并没有活在与身边女子结为连理的此时此刻，而此刻理应是快乐的。
他也看到了Randy眼里的神情，哀伤绝望。他还太年轻，无法装模作样，没法让旁人相信，这场庆贺夫妇新婚的典礼对他而言只是桩寻常事。
“We used tobe. He used to have this pleasant, contented temper, but now he stares at youas if he wanted to take my place!”
“我们以前挺要好的。他从前善解人意又懂得知足，可他现在看你的样子，好像他想取代我站在你身边一样！”
…
Theengagement party eventually took place in a suburban house Kurt and Adamrented. During the drive to the destination, Kurt was looking out of the carwindow, his eyes wandering over the city landscape. This city was ever sostrange to him, just like when he first came here, a young aspiring studentwith a big dream, lost in the multitude, diversity and affluence of this hugemetropolis.
订婚宴会最后在Kurt和Adam租下的郊区一所房子里举行。驾车前去的途中，Kurt看着车窗外面，眼神游移在城市的风景之间。这所城市对他而言总是如此陌生，就像他刚来这里的时候，那时他年纪轻，有意气，梦想大，却迷失在这座大都市的茫茫人群、五光十色、富裕繁华之中。
Adam wasdriving. Kurt could see his face out of the corner of his eye. His fiancé washandsome, determined, ambitious, just like himself. And as a lover, he was everso caring and thoughtful, and better still, he was rational and communicative. Why,was he not perfect? A person with a contented temper would have been gratefulif given a lover like Adam. Was he being ungrateful and greedy when his mindkept revisiting the moments when he was with Blaine. Oh, Lord the All Mighty,has he become a disloyal bitch? Why washe so divided? Why indeed?
But Blaine! Whenhe gazed at him with those eyes! Those biground brown smoldering eyes!
Adam在开车。Kurt眼角余光可以看到他的脸。他的未婚夫英俊、坚毅而雄心勃勃，就像他自己一样。作为一个爱人，他又总是如此细心体贴，更妙的是，他还充满理性、善于沟通。是啊，他不是很完美吗？一个知足的人如果得到Adam这样的爱人会心满意足了吧。而他心里却频频想到和Blaine在一起的那些时刻，他这是不知餍足吗？噢，上帝啊，他已经成为一个不忠诚的贱人了吗？为什么如此心意不专？为什么？
可是Blaine!他用那样的眼睛看他！那大而圆的、棕色的、好像暗暗燃烧的眼睛！

The engagement party turned out to be a disaster. Somehow the power went off for a long while when their guests were having dinner in the garden outside of the farmhouse so most of them had to fumble in the darkness. Someone on the service staff managed to find some candles so they kind of pulled off a candle-lit dinner, until a startled wild cat jumped onto the dinner table from nowhere, knockling off the candles, and set the table on fire. People tried to put out the fire but it caught onto lots of tissue paper and was soon out of control. Kurt had to call 911 and put an end to this farce of an engagement party.
订婚晚会是一场灾难。客人们在户外花园用餐的时候，不知怎么的停电了好一会，他们只能在黑暗中摸索。后勤服务队的一员找到了一些蜡烛，勉强凑合着弄成了一个烛光晚餐，可惜一只受惊的野猫跳上餐桌，撞翻蜡烛，这下餐桌起火啦。人们想要灭火，但是火焰已经点着了一叠叠餐巾纸，火势很快不受控制。Kurt不得不打给911，结束了这场订婚闹剧。

Kurt was aware of Adam's evasiveness when he asked him whose phone-call he hung up on while they were driving home from the farmhouse. The vague voice he overheard from Adam's cell-phone sounded like a woman's.
" i just don't understand. Why did this have to happen to us? " Kurt had to restrain himself in order not to throw a tantrum. He also needed to say something to avert his suspicion about the voice from the phone.
"Maybe God knows it is not yet time for this to happen." Adam said, after a moment of silence.
"Sure, He knows best." Kurt said sarcarstically.
Looking at the rear-view mirror, Kurt saw the place that was supposed to beome a mile-stone of their love life was fading fast out of his sight.
He felt sad and lost. He had wanted a marriage. A home for real. And possibly some kids in the future. But here they are, still just boyfriends.
If he looked deep into the reasons why they stuck together for all these years, he would be saddened even more because it seemed that they stayed together simply because they happened to serve each other's purposes . It was a win-win in commercial terms.
It was said that older people would be less capable of emotions. Was he that old already? Kurt thought to himself.
But deep down he knew that his passions were not dead; they were just buried deep beneath the surface, smouldering, biding their time. Except that there did not seem to be that much time left for him. A decision had to be made. ASAP.