还可以了。没有啥出彩的地方。建议把句里单词读读熟。有些读错了

hometown 不是 hanmtown
，money 的音也有小瑕疵，hard life 这里连读了感觉有点问题，不过我也不知道能不能这样连读。其实楼主已经很厉害了。

给你读了一遍哈，有的红笔改的部分实在看不清楚。。

我觉得你应该先把每个单词音发标准

你在讲你的hometown

是指内容还是什么？

可以打出来吗…手机党表示瞎

我帮你纠正了你写的文章:
PS, 最后一句还不是很满意
Today, I shall introduce my hometown to you. More than twenty years ago, it was small and poor place. The roads were narrow and there were no high rise buildings. Life was hard back then.
As the time flies by, the lives of the people got better. They managed to find ways to make money. Now you can find abundance of tall and beautiful buildings everywhere. The roads are wide and clean. There are a lot of trees along the roadside. The air is fresh and there are many birds flying in the sky. Now, the people are happier and are enjoying their comfortable life.

张大嘴发音，

中式英语……

是有点平淡 这个主题也嗨不起来啊

坚持练习！

not bad